you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize