is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
