Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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