sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My balls are so social today.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
