Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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