They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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