i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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