I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
