I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
