it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
