i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
