she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize