he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
