Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
