I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
