Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
