Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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