i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
