wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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