my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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