man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
