And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
