NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Green mimosas i think yes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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