We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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