when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
