so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
