oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
