you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
