Please, let me fuck your mom
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
