How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
In America we eat man semen.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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