i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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