I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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