A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
