Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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