so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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