im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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