? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
