I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
