That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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