his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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