I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Even my vagina gasped.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
