dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
