I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
