just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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