Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How naked do you want me to be?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
