Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
