she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
