Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
