Sry I called you an 8
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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