I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
