after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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