When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
