So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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