Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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