Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
