are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
