There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
