you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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