I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
