Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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