At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
