I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
