She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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