i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
pray to the hookup gods
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
