do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize