you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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