You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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