Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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