Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
