I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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