So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
